Tech Support

This has got to be one of the funniest I've heard of in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Help line which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause" (now I know why they record these conversations!).

PC Tech:   Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"

Customer:   Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

PC Tech:   What sort of trouble?"

Customer:   Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

PC Tech:   Went away?"

Customer:   They disappeared."

PC Tech:   Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

Customer:   Nothing."

PC Tech:   Nothing?"

Customer:   It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

PC Tech:   Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

Customer:   How do I tell?"

PC Tech:   Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

Customer:   What's a sea-prompt?" PC Tech:   Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

Customer:   There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

PC Tech:   Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

Customer:   What's a monitor?"

PC Tech:   It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

Customer:   I don't know."

PC Tech:   Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

Customer:   Yes, I think so."

PC Tech:   Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

Customer:   Yes, it is."

PC Tech: When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

Customer:   No."

PC Tech:   Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

Customer:   Okay, here it is."

PC Tech:   Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

Customer:   I can't reach."

PC Tech:   Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

Customer:   No."

PC Tech:   Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

Customer:   Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."

PC Tech:   Dark?"

Customer:   Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

PC Tech:   Well, turn on the office light then."

Customer:   I can't."

PC Tech:   No? Why not?"

Customer:   Because there's a power failure."

PC Tech:   A power...A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

Customer:   Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.

PC Tech:   Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

Customer:   Really? Is it that bad?"

PC Tech:   Yes, I'm afraid it is."

Customer:   Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

PC Tech:   Tell them you're too damn stupid to own a computer."